W-O-W I haven't written in such a long time! It's so sad i know..but what's been going on in my life is pretty much anything but!!! God has been doing just such an awesome work in my life as of late. It's so hard sometimes to be "ok" with what God's doing..trust me i realize that in the things that are going on in my life id appreciate if they werent going on..if maybe God could do it in a different way, but this is the way in which he has chosen to shape me to be more like him so this is the way it's going to be! and i am doing my best to praise him in it! :::OK LOVE THIS VERSE::: But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. (job 23:10) so fantastic! God knows what he is doing and he knows how we are going to act with the things he does in life......
And quite honestly I have no idea what God’s going to do with this pain..I wish I did, I feel like sometimes that’d make it easier. I am probably wrong …but *Sigh* How I wish it were true..my life is just so crazy sometimes and the pain so great…Lord what are you going to do with my life? I just don’t know but it has to be something great because I know my God doesn’t waste pain..because he promises that…. Lord, I wish I knew what was going on, and sometimes like right now I really wish I could fix it..but I know you have it under your control God and I know that you are the king of all and that whatever you want to happen will happen. Thank you for allowing me to rest in the fact that you are all knowing and you are all powerful..that you are in control and not dependant on us mere humans
And quite honestly I have no idea what God’s going to do with this pain..I wish I did, I feel like sometimes that’d make it easier. I am probably wrong …but *Sigh* How I wish it were true..my life is just so crazy sometimes and the pain so great…Lord what are you going to do with my life? I just don’t know but it has to be something great because I know my God doesn’t waste pain..because he promises that…. Lord, I wish I knew what was going on, and sometimes like right now I really wish I could fix it..but I know you have it under your control God and I know that you are the king of all and that whatever you want to happen will happen. Thank you for allowing me to rest in the fact that you are all knowing and you are all powerful..that you are in control and not dependant on us mere humans
God, Right now it is so easy for me to say I don’t care about what you say, I don’t care about what your word says..i want to see my family…I know that’s not the right answer. I know you know my hurt, and I know you know how I feel, and how I wish death could just be part of this… I am so sick of this and im not going to lie it’d be so easy to give up….
But I cannot give up because you haven’t given up on me.. all the times I was stupid, and the times I will be stupid (like know) I just..God thank you for never giving up on me. I don’t want to cry Lord.. You know that…I hate crying and I feel so stupid when I cry. But if crying honestly Lord will glorify you then so be it.. make me cry because God I want to do what most glorifies you, and I know that in and of myself I cannot do ANYTHING that glorifies you..but if by crying you can make that happen, then even though I hate it Lord…amen! I am so done Lord letting the walls of my life be built around past pain and hurts that I cannot and don’t know how to express..does it really matter God if I know how to express them if you know all? If you know the answers and you know the why’s…..I don’t need to know them…. Lord thank you so…much
As women of God we are told to trust God! Not just when things are easy,and not just when we want to. So many things happen in our lives daily, and many things will be happening. We have to be able to trust him with our lives.
Trust is :::Giving all to God , doing what he wants you to do and leaving the rest of the plans to him…
Trust isn’t::making our own plans, trust isn’t making back up plans just in case “trusting” God doesn’t work…it’s not worrying constantly about things going on
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
·have confidence or faith in; "We can trust in God"; "Rely on your friends"; "bank on your good education"; "I swear by my grandmother's recipes"
·something (as property) held by one party (the trustee) for the benefit of another (the beneficiary); "he is the beneficiary of a generous trust ...
·allow without fear
·reliance: certainty based on past experience; "he wrote the paper with considerable reliance on the work of other scientists"; "he put more trust in his own two legs than in the gun"
·believe: be confident about something; "I believe that he will come back from the war"
·the trait of believing in the honesty and reliability of others; "the experience destroyed his trust and personal dignity"
·hope: expect and wish; "I trust you will behave better from now on"; "I hope she understands that she cannot expect a raise"
·a consortium of independent organizations formed to limit competition by controlling the production and distribution of a product or service; "they set up the trust in the hope of gaining a monopoly"
·entrust: confer a trust upon; "The messenger was entrusted with the general's secret"; "I commit my soul to God"
·faith: complete confidence in a person or plan etc; "he cherished the faith of a good woman"; "the doctor-patient relationship is based on trust" "What I intended as good was interpreted as bad...... by a hummingbird. Recently one of the little fellows flew into the garage and got lost. Though the door was open, he didn't see it. He insisted, instead, on bashing his head against a closed window, determined to get out. Soon our whole family was in the garage, empathizing with his confusion. "Help him out, daddy," came the chorus from my kids. So I tried. I opened the window, hoping he'd fly out - he didn't. I nudged him with a broom handle. He wouldn't budge. Finally, after several firm pokes, he made a Move...the wrong way. He fluttered inside the two window panes. Now he was trapped. what a pitiful sight. I had no choice. I stuck my fingers in the opening, Grabbed a few feathers, and jerked him out. I'm sure he didn't appreciate the yank, but at least he was free. The bird thought I was cruel. If only he had known that I had come to help. If only he knew..." Like the little hummingbird, we sometimes don't understand what God is doing in our lives. Or we want Him to hurry up. We need to remember: Isa 55:8 (NIV) "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
Dear Lord, help us to trust in You when we misunderstand, or can't see what is ahead. Help us to believe in our hearts, that You love us infinitely, and want only our good. Help us rest in Your love, and be content and at peace no matter our circumstances. It's hard for us, Lord, to not be anxious; we need Your help. In Jesus' name, amen.
Righto, Well im counseling again this weekend! And how excited I am...(more excited to counsel then give my testimony thats for sure) But i know that God will use my testimony, even if i dont want to give it. A lot of things have been going on at school. with friends, w/ acquaintances..with just everyone that something could possibly happen with? Well guess what it did...I am praying that this weekend I am a day counselor..alas it probably wont happen..but I Will keep my hopes high none the less...so every day this wee ke have been having free periods free periods..not so tomorrow..it's going to be ONE LONG DAY lol...o well i guess it happens to all of us once, twice..unless you go to wolbi and then its every day of life..lol im pretty pumped...about snow camp..*sigh* LOL like i said please be praying for me. getting up in front of a large number of people isn't my thing. i dont enjoy making attention come towards myself, and i dont enjoy people looking at me like im...idk something different then what i Am..but God will be glorified not me (PRAISE THE LORD) so i will continue to do it through him! And i know he will give me strength, and power through all that im going to say but it's just a nerve racking experience if you ask me..(and thats just asking me).....^_^ I have to pee..a lot lately lol i think im getting either sick or im just drinking to much mountaindew. we will see :) OH ALSO I got my conch peirced (in ear)
Righto, Well im counseling again this weekend! And how excited I am...(more excited to counsel then give my testimony thats for sure) But i know that God will use my testimony, even if i dont want to give it. A lot of things have been going on at school. with friends, w/ acquaintances..with just everyone that something could possibly happen with? Well guess what it did...I am praying that this weekend I am a day counselor..alas it probably wont happen..but I Will keep my hopes high none the less...so every day this wee ke have been having free periods free periods..not so tomorrow..it's going to be ONE LONG DAY lol...o well i guess it happens to all of us once, twice..unless you go to wolbi and then its every day of life..lol im pretty pumped...about snow camp..*sigh* LOL like i said please be praying for me. getting up in front of a large number of people isn't my thing. i dont enjoy making attention come towards myself, and i dont enjoy people looking at me like im...idk something different then what i Am..but God will be glorified not me (PRAISE THE LORD) so i will continue to do it through him! And i know he will give me strength, and power through all that im going to say but it's just a nerve racking experience if you ask me..(and thats just asking me).....^_^ I have to pee..a lot lately lol i think im getting either sick or im just drinking to much mountaindew. we will see :) OH ALSO I got my conch peirced (in ear)
I am 26 years old. getting married on June 28th 2014 to the love of my life Nicholas Ford. I cannot wait!!! I am a follow of Christ and have 13 tattoos and 1/2inch guages!
